she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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