Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
