4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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