Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
