If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
