shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
