Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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