last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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