$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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