In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
