yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
