My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
please come you make the beer taste better
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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