At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
