I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Non-Jews are for practice
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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