how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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