i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
