Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I love you.
Bad choice
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize