Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
