Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
