THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
