she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
