Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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