your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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