Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
