How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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