Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
