I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
