now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Verdict: uncircumcised.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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