I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
