singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
