I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
