my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
