the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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