Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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