I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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