Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
