I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Randomize
