If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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