of course. lets lasso hookers.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
