It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
