woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
