I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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