Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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