Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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