I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just had sex on a roof
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
