Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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