i think my tv is drunk
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
