But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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