How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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