New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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