Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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