i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
you're hired as official boob wrangler
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
