how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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