She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
