you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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