You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
