New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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