Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
