im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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