i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
