Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
