do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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