We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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