Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize