Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
then he tried to convert me to islam
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
