Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
